What do i actually want in life ? I dont know ? That's not a good answer .

i realy dont know wads gonna hapen next .
i dun even noe wad im thinkin ryt now ?
why do i like him so much ?
n why he reminds mie of toyol so much ?
the way he acts , the way he toks .
haish . i dun think we wil ever b tgt .
even if he sound mie now , i wud haf rejected .
he's a mature guy . mie ? not even near . haha .
he's expectin a future . wher as i dun even think abt it YET .
well , mayb i do . my heart is ready to commit .
but me , myself n my life like dis ? NO !
i hafta change b4 finding a guy .
my stubborness always gets in the way .
haish . y was i born like dis ?
can i just shut maself down just like a computer ?
or mayb reboot ?
ARGHH ! fuck man . i hate dis life .